Wedding Day Re-Cap!

Hello! I am writing to you for the first time as Mrs. Dianna Haynes! That is so exciting! I still sit and marvel that I am married. I look at Dusty and am like , "you are my HUSBAND" and he smiles and says, 'and you are my wife." It is crazy, it always felt like the wedding was forever away and now it is 5 days past us! I am surprised to report that I did not cry at the wedding. I predicted that the excitement and hormones would have made me a blubbering baby but rather the happiness that I was finally becoming Dusty's wife kept a smile on my face all evening, that whole day I had not a worry in the world (well...I was worried that a child would trip and get hurt when they were running around but that is every adult's fear when kids run...right?).  If you were unable to make it to the big event or even if you were there let me re-cap for you.

1.) What was the date and time of your wedding? April 11, 2014 at 5:00pm

2.) What was the weather like? The weather was gorgeous. High of 75, partly cloudy, not a rain drop to be seen but a nice breeze to keep us cool! LOTS of pollen though, just ask Dusty's Tux!

3.) What kind of food/beverages did you serve? During cocktail hour we had a cheese and cracker assortment (I stole some cheese cubes while waiting to make our grand entrance because I was STARVING!), drink options were water, sweet tea or lemonade (apparently the best lemonade in the entire world according to everyone who told me about it AFTER the fact!), Dinner was a bacon wrapped turkey tenderloin with a whisky glaze, red skinned mashed potatoes with bacon and cheese on the side as mix ins, macaroni and cheese, grilled vegetables (they gave me my own side of just asparagus) and yeast rolls. It was all amazing! Best wedding food ever in my opinion!

4.) What kind of cake did you have and who made it? We had a 3 layer hexagonal cake from Dewey's bakery, the top and bottom layers were chocolate and the middle was red velvet all with white icing and decorated to match our cinema theme. The cake was fresh, moist and delicious, not to mention the fact that it looked amazing. Dewey's did a great job!

5.) Did everyone who RSVP attend? No, we had a few no-shows but it happens, it did lead to lots of left over delicious food!! We did have some FAR away out of town guests make it in from New York (Lauren and John,) Gabby and Joe), New Hampshire (Alex), Colorado (Katie), Massachusetts (Sam and Mike).

6.) Did your ceremony run smoothly? For the most part, our processional got a little out of sorts when my nephews forgot to push mom down the aisle in her wheel chair so she came in right before me and dad, our flower girl and ring bearer walked down the aisle with our best man and matron of honor (which was absolutely adorable by the way!), I forgot to switch my engagement ring to my right hand before the ceremony so I (probably not so subtly) moved it right before getting my wedding ring, and Noah yawned very loudly after we said our vows which cracked everyone up. All in all it was wonderful.

7.) Did your reception run smoothly? It got a little out of sorts, we didn't have a set order of events which got a little hectic, I didn't bustle my train right away so it got in the way of our first dance and tripped a lot of people during the reception (no one got hurt), no one really danced except Dusty and I with our parents but since we aren't big on the whole dancing thing it worked for us and the kids had the whole front outdoor space to play and run and I can't be sure that I spent enough time with EVERYONE because I kept moving around or being pulled aside for a question or something, hopefully no one felt neglected!

8.) Did you get all of the pictures you wanted? Who knows?? Our photographer was amazing, she came and shot our wedding even though she doesn't do photography anymore and did an awesome job. She had 5 photos to me THAT NIGHT and all of them were amazing. Dusty and I had made signs to use in the photos but realized that we left them in the room so we only used one of them and figured we could add the quotes digitally after the fact. I believe that the rest of the pictures will turn out amazing as well and lots of people have shared their pictures with us on Facebook.

9.) What was your first dance song? Everything Else Disappears by Sister Hazel

10.)What song did you dance with your dad to? I Loved her First by Heartland

11.)What song did the groom and his mother dance to? My Wish by Rascal Flatts

12.) What was your last dance song? We didn't have one, no big deal though.

13.) Who caught the bouquet? Lily McLean

14.) Who caught the garter? We didn't do that.

15.) What were your favors? We had boxes of popcorn and little clapboard picture holders

16.) What did you do for your send off? We didn't have one, we took a picture holding a sign that said "to be continued" in the hall where our room was.

17.) Where did you spend your wedding night? We stayed in the Johnson Room right at the Manor House. The room was right down the hall from our reception and it was beautiful!! The bed was comfy, Lauren, Anita, Brittany and Katie decorated our room before we retired for the night which was awesome, and breakfast the next morning was AMAZING!! Best breakfast ever of fresh Blueberry scones, eggs, bacon, fruit, toast, and orange juice!!

18.) Did anyone decorate your car? Yes! Our car had been written on apparently NOT by David & Sierra with Noah's help! Noah kept claiming that it was some woman with black hair that had him draw on the windows, we named people and he just said no until he said that David and Sierra let him draw on it. He was tickled that he got to draw on the trunk (the back windshield), and the sides "but not the front" and he apparently drew potatoes.

19. Did you take a honeymoon? Yes, we went to Wilmington, NC and are currently still ON our honeymoon. Note the water at the beach is flippin COLD in April!

20. Would you do anything different? While sitting in a movie theater yesterday we thought it would have been cool to have random movie trivia while people were waiting for the ceremony to begin but besides that nope because our wedding was awesome.

339 Days Left!: The Story of Us Part 4

Now, to go into every single detail of our dating relationship up to our engagement would be silly and would take forever to write and read (note, this is already part 4 and I have less than a year to cover). Once the "I love you"s were said they were said and continue to be said often. I always feel like it just doesn't portray just how deeply I feel for Dusty, like there should be a step even greater than "I love you," but there just doesn't seem to be the right words anywhere. Now, I have always been one of those people who used to mock people who were all lovey-dovey on social media sites but having caught the love bug, it started to make sense. When you love someone you want everyone in the entire world to know how amazing they are, you want to scream it from a mountain and most importantly you want that person to understand how much they mean to you and as they say, it isn't official unless it is on Facebook.

Dusty and I continued our relationship spending time with each other as much as possible, going to the Renaissance Festival and having our first (and only it seems like) future family portrait, though at the time it was not officially set in stone that we would be a family, having a Halloween party, a surprise birthday party for Dusty thrown by yours truly, an evening of feeling sorry for Dianna since my Europe trip was canceled at the last minute, celebrating Thanksgiving at both of our families houses (a first for me), spending an entire evening decorating a tree, doing Christmas Crafts and wearing reindeer antlers bought from Walgreens. We even discussed a future together. I think we started considering getting married a month into dating even if we didn't voice it. I remember one night when I was leaving Dusty's apartment telling him that, since I hated saying good bye to him (which I still do), I was going to have to convince him to marry me. He had responded with, "It wont take any convincing, it is just too early in our relationship for that."

Around the 4 month mark we started talking more about what kinds if things we would want for a wedding, though of course it was too soon to consider. Closer to the 5 month mark we had started legitimate planning and saving for the wedding, we even paid for our photographer before we were engaged because it was an awesome price and it never expired. Apparently Dusty and I were a bit obvious with our affections because on December 29th my brother expected me to be announcing an engagement and had stated to his wife that, "Dusty will make a good brother in law." I think he was disappointed when there was no ring on my finger that night.

Let me back track for a second. Once a week or so Dusty hangs out with his best friend David to do some writing. One day at work I had asked Dusty if he wanted to come to my house to have dinner and he said he couldn't. I asked what he was doing, figuring it would be hanging out with Dave, instead he said, "OK, I can't hang out because I have to do something but you can't know what it is." Why? "I can't tell you anything." Is there anything worse than when someone tells you that they know something that you aren't allowed to know? What is always the first need you have? YOU NEED TO KNOW! So what did this loving, caring, sweet girlfriend do in response? I bugged the heck out of him, guessing, trying to get him to slip, trying to sneak around the apartment to find it out. I thought I would get it for Christmas, I didn't. I thought I would get it on our anniversary...I didn't. So the day after our anniversary we are getting ready to go to breakfast and I was bugging Dusty and he handed me a journal, it was a beautiful leather journal with flowers etched into it and it buttoned closed. He told me to open it so I did and I found that he had taped the picture of us from the Renaissance Festival and wrote: "The Story of Us" I turned the page and saw that he had written something, I looked at him with tears in my eyes and told him I couldn't read it right now, he told me to read it. 

Everyday I think about where we've been. After only five months you have taken me from my lowest to my highest; from wondering if I'd ever find love again to finding a love stronger than I've ever felt.

I want you to know that I know how you used to feel. You told me how you have felt at times that you didn't belong. I have felt that as well! But now all of that has changed.

This is the beginning of our story. This is the part where we figure our that we belong with each other  This is the part where we realize it was always supposed to be us. Every decision we have made has led us right here. So go ahead and turn the page to find our what happens next in our story. 

So I was bawling, I turned the page and there were two more pictures of us and a hole carved into the journal with a ring inside. Above the hole was one simple question "Will You Marry Me.":

I don't even think I answered I just threw my arms around Dusty and told him that I loved him between sobs. After I was able to pull away he opened the journal and told me, "you know you haven't actually said yes, right?" I smiled and said yes, of course I said yes. He put the ring on my finger where it felt like home.

Noah had been there the whole time playing with the Christmas tree ornaments and Dusty asked him if we could get married and he closed his eyes, tilted his head down and shook his head in disapproval, which made us laugh. Terrible twos and the no phase. We then headed to breakfast, and do you know what we did after? We registered for our wedding gifts at Wal-Mart. Yup. We jumped right in.

And that Is where you find me now. This is not a story that will ever end but this is the final part for now. We are still in the planning process, though I must admit that we are at a standstill for the most part. You can only plan so much so far ahead of time but everything we COULD do, we have done except a couple of design things. Every decision regarding the wedding has been made together (except my dress as he did not get to come help pick). This wedding is just as much his as it is mine and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am very excited to share more of my adventures with you and share insight on wedding related stuff. If you have a topic you would like me to write about, things you would like me to explain about my life, my relationship or my wedding feel free to suggest something. I can't guarantee I will spill any metaphorical beans, but perhaps I can fulfill your request in a round about way.

Much love!

FMH 

342 Days Left- The Story of Us Part 3

On June 16th we had our first date :) I met Dusty at the mall with his recently cleaned car and we went to Greensboro to eat Olive Garden...well we originally were going to have japanese food but the place we were going to had a 2 hour wait and Olive Garden had no wait. I was so nervous during the drive that the obnoxiously loud sound his car made while accelerating was just what I need to calm down a little and just laugh. After dinner we decided to go to the Comedy Zone then go bowling (totally out of the box thought right? lol). I actually won a game and he claimed he didn't let me win, that he was just nervous and if I didn't know better I would think he was lying. It was kind of weird for me, I think it was just me since I am really awkward and I didn't really let myself be comfortable. Dusty didn't let me pay for anything...I objected but apparently I was not going to get my way.

If I was nervous after coming back from vacation with Dusty just knowing I liked him, I was a million times more nervous seeing him after our first date but just like the first time it wasn't awkward, it was just...normal. We weren't telling anyone we worked with that we were dating, we just kept it to ourselves and figured if we decided that we were going to persue this relationship we would do talk about it then. We started hanging out together more, saw some movies, Dusty came over and met my family on the 4th of July and we had our first hug! I know what you are thinking. First HUG? but yes, If you know me then you know I never really did the dating thing, Dusty understood that I needed to go very slow in this whole relationship thing and respected my boundries even when I knew I was being lame (though Dusty would not agree that I was being lame).

For our second date I turned the tables. I paid for everything this time and we went to Dave and Buster's and ate dinner and had lots of fun. We played so many games, won lots of tickets, won stuffed animals (somehow I developed mad skills to stop the light directly where I needed to and won 2 stuffed animals at one time!), we gave away stuffed animals to couples and some kids (with parental consent) and cashed in tickets for a toy for Noah and a frozen mug for Dusty (I kept a stuffed Giraffe that I won for me). It was lots of fun and I highly recommend it but only if you have a decent amount of money to spend because it can get expensive.

Dusty and I had also won tickets to Grandfather Mountain!! Dusty and I got up early on a Sunday and headed on our first "road trip." Our first stop was to Wilkesboro to see my friend Brittany, we had breakfast and Brittany grilled Dusty on his likes, dislikes and would you rathers. Then we were off to Grandfather Mountain where we saw the animals (you apparently can't feed the bears anymore), went to the gift shop and managed not to buy anything, drove those winding roads to the mile high bridge (realized I forgot my inhaler and it was very cold and windy up there), climbed on the rocks, took our first picture of just us together (it took multiple trys) and sat and enjoyed the amazing views. It was overall a wonderful experience. We weren't official until July 29th, an anniversary we will only celebrate once as before our second dating anniversary we will be married.

Would it surprise you if I told you that I fell in love with him before we even had our first kiss? I didn't tell him right then of course. One night, we had gone to see a movie, Total Recall, we held hands throughout the movie, which was wonderful, I think it was the first time we had done that it memory serves me correctly. I had been super tired on the drive home as I had only gotten a couple hours of sleep the night before, and because just like a little kid, riding in the car at night makes me sleepy. We were almost back at work where we had left Dusty's car and we were still holding hands. Dusty took a short cut through a little neighborhood and I had this feeling like...like if I looked in the back seat I would see two sleeping kids, tired from a fun and exciting day and grandma and grandpa's and we would be getting ready to pull into our driveway, finally home after a hectic family gathering. The crazy part was, it felt perfect, I knew that was what I wanted for my life. This was on August 14th...not even a month after we had been "officially" together. In all fairness, Dusty knew he was in love with me not long after. He told me that he knew he was in love with me the night we had our first kiss which was August 18th, we were in my driveway after spending the day together, saying goodbye (which is my least favorite part of spending time with Dusty). I finally built up my nerve and let him kiss me, and I could no longer remember why I was so nervous about it.

We didn't tell each other for a while and I think a lot of people would say it was impersonal because it happened via text, well, technically Google Talk but it was perfect for us. Personally, I can usually express myself better wh
en I type it out because I don't stumble over my words or get too nervous. I was terrified when I typed it out because I thought he would flip out, get freaked out and let me know I was crossing a line. And something unexpectedly amazing about this form of communication is the conversation has saved in a GMAIL folder! So it was super late at night, we had already said our good nights and I was having trouble sleeping. From somewhere inside me I got the nerve to say it, I just needed him to know so I sent him this:

So I sent this rambling to Dusty, set my phone down and expected to wake up to nothing, to him avoiding me. Instead, within moments I received this:

And I think my heart stopped, I couldn't believe what I was reading and I could not stop smiling.

347 Days Left- The Story of Us Part 2

As described in my previous post Dusty and I had become good friends by January of 2012, in fact he was probably my best friend. I finally understood why girls like to have a "best guy friend." I enjoyed talking to him and he got my jokes and he never judged. Unfortunately next in our story comes an event that caused a lot of pain.

In March of 2012 Dusty's previous relationship ended, badly and abruptly. I will not go into details about this because as I once said in my LiveJournal it is not my story to tell. I did my best to be a good friend, listening when he needed me to, giving advice (though I had never been in a similar situation) and just trying to cheer him up when I knew he could handle it. Though I didn't talk to anyone about the time I spent talking to him my co workers seemed to always ask me how he was doing, and me having already liked him was worried that I was being too obvious about how I felt about him, they just figured we were really good friends and that I would know, (which of course, was the case). I felt terrible that Dusty was going through a hard time and I am proud to say that I never once tried to, or even considered trying to "sabotage" him in his relationship or during the breakup. I was truly acting only as a concerned friend who would try to give him unbiased advice to help him clear up his thoughts. On a side note: One thing I would like to share is while it hurts me to know how much pain this caused Dusty I will never believe that Dusty regrets the relationship. In my opinion the experience helped him grow (as most extremely painful things do), it helped him re-define his standards, it helped him re-evaluate his friendships, and most importantly it gave him and his ex the most amazing gift in the entire world. It gave them a brilliant, sweet, adorable, energetic little boy named Noah who is loved by so many people including myself. A lot of people have asked me if it is awkward being around his ex, and while it was at first when dropping off or picking up Noah, it makes me happy to know that when we do not have Noah he is with someone who he adores and who loves him just as much. Little boys need their moms and their dads and I am happy that they are both able to be so active in Noah's life.

When things started getting a little better for him Sonja and I dragged him back out bowling to get his spirits back up and to get him back to his old self. We would take silly pictures of him with Sonja and Lenai to get him to smile (all of which can be seen on Facebook) and even bought him a few drinks...though to this day I have never gotten to meet Drunk Dusty. During our hang outs it seemed to be getting harder and harder to find other people to hang out with us. I had been bribing Lenai, Keisha and Shannon to tag along so I wasn't alone with him because even though he didn't know that I liked him, I knew that I liked him and it made me super uncomfortable, I felt that if we were ever alone bowling, he would somehow just KNOW.

Sonja, Dusty, Lenai and I on our "cheer up Dusty" bowling trip.

We continued on this same path for a few months, lots of jokes, lots of laughter and bowling. Never once did either one of us think the other person was interested. On June 2nd, 2012 we had gone bowling as usual, had lots of fun and said our good byes in the early hours of the next morning., I was leaving for Hershey Park on the 3rd and after I got home we started texting again, which was not unusual. I don't know where I got the guts but I told him that his ex was really stupid to let him go because he was such an amazing person, and I admitted how I felt and that every time I got a text from him I couldn't help smiling like an idiot. He let me know that he felt the same way, and I barely slept all night and my phone did not stop dinging during the entire vacation, I couldn't stop talking to him, even in the sweetest vacation place on earth, Hershey Pennsylvania.

I was a big ball of nerves when I came back. I didn't know what to do, how to act around him. I was terrified that he would change his mind. When I came back to work...it felt like I had never left. We joked around and picked on each other as usual. We still hung out as friends and on June 8th I went to a baseball game with Lenai and her daughter Shyanne while texting Dusty (shamelessly the whole time). I told him that Lenai would be coming on our outing the next day and that she will be my date for the evening. He responded "maybe one day I will get that chance" I told him(though to this day I don't know how I actually hit send) "maybe if you had some balls and asked me out you would," he responded with a  "lol, shut up, then go out with me next weekend" my response? "how can I possibly resist when you asked so sweetly?" he responds: "please?" Of course I said yes...which brought back the gigantic ball of nerves.

There is a lot in this entry. I do welcome comments but please refrain from bashing, bad mouthing ANYONE. This blog is to share with our friends, family and even complete strangers about our lives, wedding planning insights, or whatever I feel like writing about. It is an online journal that I am writing as a keepsake and it is not here to cause anyone pain. I will not tolerate any digs at anyone including but not limited to myself, Dusty, Dusty's family, my family, Dusty's ex or any other friends or ex-friends or even pets. That is right, no jabs at my neurotic little Abby-Doodles. I hate that I have to say that but I have spoken my peace and now, feel free to leave comments, questions, blog ideas, or whatever as long as it does not violate my ONE rule!

FMH

348 days left- The Story of Us part 1

Since this blog post is taking forever because it is becoming SOO long, I have decided to take the advice of my fiance and my friend and fellow blogger and make this into a "series," probably a fairly short series but either way. So without any further ado, since it is our 9 month dating anniversary,  I give you the part one of The Story of Us.

I met Dusty in June of 2011 at my new job at the corporate office for the grocery store I work for. I would love to tell you that it was love at first sight, that I could remember ever word that was uttered but, while I cannot remember this interaction I am sure it went something like this "Melissa: Ok, so now that we have some of  your paperwork filled out I will introduce you to all the reps who are here today. This is Harriet, [smiles and waves to Harriet] this is Kathy [ smiles at Kathy], this is Susan [still smiling and waving], in this room is Kathryn and Valery [waves, smiles] and over next to me is Dusty, [still just smiling and waving]. Today we are going to have you..." So yeah, not too fairy tale just yet, lol.

When I met Dusty, it was no secret that he was engaged to another woman and had a child, in fact pretty much everyone in the office was married, engaged and/or had kids. I just jumped into learning what I needed to know about the job while getting to know ALL of my co-workers. We interacted in a friendly manner, mainly about work but sometimes just picking or goofing off in our downtime. I remember that one time, when we were discussing the hiring of a new customer care rep he had said, "now don't let this go to your head but we would be really well off if we could hire someone just like you." I of course was flattered but I knew I was a hard worker (maybe it did go to my head) and I figured it was just a friendly compliment and a true statement. I also remember that there were a lot of times when I would say exactly what he was thinking and I would joke that it was because I could read his mind and explained a quite elaborate scheme as to how it worked. We always got along well.

Starting in November of 2011 a friend and co-worker of ours at the time suggested that the whole CCC went to hang out together. I always found myself hanging around him and Melissa because I was so comfortable with them. Most of our outings ended up being Sonja, Dusty and I and occasionally another friend of Sonja's or mine. Because of meeting times we ended up texing a bit and slowly conversations outside of work began. Most of our outings were going bowling, occasionally a bar, though that part was always a bit awkward for me since I am not much of a bar-goer. I would always joke, while bowling, that I didn't care if I didn't win as long as SOMEONE beat Dusty, he never took it personally or got mad, it just made him determined to win...which he didn't always do but I could never talk because for all but maybe one game I was and will always be a terrible bowler.

December 10th Dusty started following me on Twitter and so began the banter and sarcastic comments such as when he posted that he was going to have some hot chocolate then go to the movies, my response to sneak hot chocolate into the movies was met with a "my purse isn't big enough." We discussed the world's need for a sarcasm font and our mutual hatred of beer. Dusty admitted to admiring my fandom as I criticized his 85% bad taste in TV shows. And let's not forget the Twitter Parties initiated by Arielle that lead to many side conversations, me being called Dusty Junior or That Naglieri Girl by my co-workers, being threatened by Arielle for sticking up for Dusty (or for him sticking up for me) because I was "stealing her beau." On December 17th during a conversation via twitter he told me that the people around him in the movie theater were asking me to keep it down and I was embarrassed that he was talking to me during a movie. In order to share this embarrassment with other people I talked to Lily, Hannah and Brittany about how "creepy" it was that this guy I work with talked to me so much, I mean really, he is ENGAGED. Secretly, or maybe not so secretly since everyone saw through me, it gave me butterflies and made me smile a lot but I just "knew" that it was another one of my infamous crushes on unrealistic people. A fun fact about this time when we were not together...he was the first person to wish me a Happy Birthday on my 24th birthday...a detail that I kept to myself because I hoped it meant something.

So there is the beginning...nothing really solid for me to know that a year later we would be planning a wedding. Keep an eye out for Part 2 :)

FMH