When planning a wedding there are certain moments that people expect to happen. Some of these long established customs or beliefs that have been passed down over the years have some obvious meanings and origins but when we were doing some planning there were just some things that were way too weird for us to incorporate in our special day. Many of these things had to do with fertility (seeing as once marriage is mentioned the only thing on anyone's mind is when you will begin popping out babies) or evil spirits and while I can understand some people doing things because it is a tradition but quite frankly, some of these things were creepy.
 |
| This is my mommy and Daddy! Aren't they cute all getting married? |
Bridal Bouquet- Brides used to carry strong smelling herbs to frighten away evil spirits and to cover the awful stench they gave off because of their rotting flesh due to the plague. Think of it this way, remember how "Ring Around the Rosie," was about people dying of the plague? Well this is similar but instead of a "pocket full of posies, it was a fist full of herbs that later became fragrant flowers and now are just there to look pretty and match or accentuate a bride's wedding colors. Though some people have had ideas to use different things these days. Some brides have altered the tradition to hold a single flower, fake flowers or even books down the aisle, (I guess they are no longer worried about their stench...or maybe that is what Dove Clinical Strength is for).
Bouquet Toss- While I am on the subject of the bouquet itself, might as well get to this one. Apparently brides are considered to be super lucky on their wedding day, and I have to say, on my wedding day I will probably feel like the luckiest girl in the entire world because the most wonderful man in the world will be agreeing to spend his life with me! You can imagine that such luck would lead to a certain metaphorical green monster making itself known to some wedding guests. Pretty much what would happen is that since the bride was so lucky, guests would tear apart the bride's dress to get their own good luck charm, their wedding four leaf clover if you will. To prevent the guests from destroying such a precious article of clothing, and to get away from the large crowd that was trying to literally rip your clothes off the bride would throw her bouquet to the crowd so they could fight over that and buy her some time to run away with her groom. The person who caught the bouquet was considered to have gained the luck to be the next to marry (and in turn have a group of people try to rip your dress off).
Garter Toss- Desperate single females were not the only ones interested in ripping the bride out of her clothes, the men took part in that too! It was also tradition for the wedding party to follow the bride and groom to their bedchamber to make sure that the marriage was consummated They wouldn't just listen at the door for a squeak in the mattress either, they would literally gather around the bed and watch, sometimes try and help remove some undergarments as well. To try and aid the bride from getting away from the mob with her dress intact and to be sure that he was the only one getting to see what his lovely bride had under her wedding clothes, the groom began to fling the garter to the crowd, much like the bride does the bouquet, to distract the men in the crowd and sneak his bride away (at least long enough to get into the hotel room and lock the door).
The Bridal Party- The bridal party was another form of protection for the bride and groom. The bridesmaids were selected to wear dresses or clothes similar to (or exactly the same as) the bride so if evil spirits or ex-lovers of the groom came to ruin the wedding, they would confuse them because they would not be able to tell the bride apart. They were pretty much a decoy or stunt double. The Maid of Honor was in charge of creating and hanging all decorations herself, with no help. The groomsmen had a similar job as far as evil spirits go but they was also there to assist the groom in fighting off the brides family in cases where the bride had been captured and was marrying against her will. The "best" man would be the best fighter and therefore most useful in case of an attack.
Bridal Veil and Dress- Brides did not always wear a fancy white dress for their big day. Back in the day, people just wore the best clothes they owned to tie the knot. Then one day around 1840, Queen Victoria apparently made a big to-do about wearing a huge white dress at her wedding and people began thinking that it was necessary to show off your wealth with a fancy dress and it needed to be white to show purity and to ward away evil spirits. The veil is not one to be showy but rather the opposite. Back in the day, when parents picking the groom based on whatever their qualifications were at the time, there were many arranged marriages. Problem was, people then were just as shallow as people now. Give some guy a bride who has more of a "personality" than good looks and he would not go through with the wedding. The veil came into the picture as a way to prevent the groom from changing his mind based off of appearance of the bride, instead, by the time he saw her face, his vow was made, and divorce was not an option. The veil was also considered a symbol of youth, modesty, purity and of course, to ward away those pesky evil spirits.
Wedding Cake- Wedding cakes were not originally cakes, they were loaves of bread that would be broken over the bride's head by the groom to signify her fertility (back to baby making) and his dominance over her (I guess it was better than peeing on her). People would then scramble to get crumbs from the bread because it was considered good luck, (and if the bride got away without them ripping her clothes off how will they ever get lucky?). Eventually the bread was changed to cake that was not eaten but passed to guests to put under their pillow for luck and to dream of their significant other, now a grooms cake tradition.
Tying Cans to the Get Away Car- I'll leave this as the last one as it often signifies the end of a wedding now-a-days. There are two theories that I have heard for this tradition. One is that the noise the cans would make when the couple drove away would scare away any evil spirits that tried to follow them (and I bet it would prove to dissuade any annoying drivers with fancy cars from driving behind you since once they break off they may damage not just YOUR car but the car that they decide to fist bump too). Another theory I have seen is that after the bride and groom have left to do the deed and practice baby making...err...I mean... consummate the marriage...people (mainly men) would gather outside the place that they were staying and bang pots and pans and make lots of noise. They would only be silenced if they were given lots of food. This mainly happened when a man from another town swept a local girl away from the grasp of local boys (sometimes quite literally), and they were ticked off and just wanted to prove they were sore losers. I didn't find any definitive proof, but I would think this would explain why many weddings involve lots of food and last into the wee hours many times. If the local folks are already stuffed (and probably drunk) they wouldn't remember to interrupt a wedding night right?
The Honeymoon- Ok, I lied. Just one more for my adoring readers. A honeymoon was originally when the bride would be abducted by the groom (or typically groom to be as it was done before the wedding) for a month. The groom's friends would ensure the safety of the couple and would keep their whereabouts a secret so the brides village or family could not find them. Essentially, the brides family would figure she had died and would give up. The groom would then bring her to his town and marry her (which brings us back the the possible fighting at the wedding, right? I love when things come full circle). There are a couple of theories as to how the actual term honeymoon was derived, usually the honey referred to a honey based wine/mead that the couple was given to drink for a month and the moon was typically referring to the month-length time (either by the changing of the moon or the bodily changes that happen during the cycles of the moon (gross)). Either way, back then it was a month, now it is like a week if you are lucky.
Basically what I get from all of this is that if you want to have a "Traditional Wedding" wear your nicest pair of jeans, carry some garlic down the aisle, make your bridesmaids wear exactly what you are wearing and make sure your groomsmen are skilled swordsmen, be prepared to run or have a trap door in place to avoid your wedding guests ripping off your fancy jeans because you are practically a 4 leaf clover, have a loaf of bread to break over your head, maybe plan a false wedding night room so you don't have unwanted guests or noises and take a month off of work for your honeymoon.
Wedding Cake- Wedding cakes were not originally cakes, they were loaves of bread that would be broken over the bride's head by the groom to signify her fertility (back to baby making) and his dominance over her (I guess it was better than peeing on her). People would then scramble to get crumbs from the bread because it was considered good luck, (and if the bride got away without them ripping her clothes off how will they ever get lucky?). Eventually the bread was changed to cake that was not eaten but passed to guests to put under their pillow for luck and to dream of their significant other, now a grooms cake tradition.
Tying Cans to the Get Away Car- I'll leave this as the last one as it often signifies the end of a wedding now-a-days. There are two theories that I have heard for this tradition. One is that the noise the cans would make when the couple drove away would scare away any evil spirits that tried to follow them (and I bet it would prove to dissuade any annoying drivers with fancy cars from driving behind you since once they break off they may damage not just YOUR car but the car that they decide to fist bump too). Another theory I have seen is that after the bride and groom have left to do the deed and practice baby making...err...I mean... consummate the marriage...people (mainly men) would gather outside the place that they were staying and bang pots and pans and make lots of noise. They would only be silenced if they were given lots of food. This mainly happened when a man from another town swept a local girl away from the grasp of local boys (sometimes quite literally), and they were ticked off and just wanted to prove they were sore losers. I didn't find any definitive proof, but I would think this would explain why many weddings involve lots of food and last into the wee hours many times. If the local folks are already stuffed (and probably drunk) they wouldn't remember to interrupt a wedding night right?
The Honeymoon- Ok, I lied. Just one more for my adoring readers. A honeymoon was originally when the bride would be abducted by the groom (or typically groom to be as it was done before the wedding) for a month. The groom's friends would ensure the safety of the couple and would keep their whereabouts a secret so the brides village or family could not find them. Essentially, the brides family would figure she had died and would give up. The groom would then bring her to his town and marry her (which brings us back the the possible fighting at the wedding, right? I love when things come full circle). There are a couple of theories as to how the actual term honeymoon was derived, usually the honey referred to a honey based wine/mead that the couple was given to drink for a month and the moon was typically referring to the month-length time (either by the changing of the moon or the bodily changes that happen during the cycles of the moon (gross)). Either way, back then it was a month, now it is like a week if you are lucky.
Basically what I get from all of this is that if you want to have a "Traditional Wedding" wear your nicest pair of jeans, carry some garlic down the aisle, make your bridesmaids wear exactly what you are wearing and make sure your groomsmen are skilled swordsmen, be prepared to run or have a trap door in place to avoid your wedding guests ripping off your fancy jeans because you are practically a 4 leaf clover, have a loaf of bread to break over your head, maybe plan a false wedding night room so you don't have unwanted guests or noises and take a month off of work for your honeymoon.
Hope you learned something. Are there traditions you took part in that you now wish you didn't? Are there traditions you took part of that I didn't mention that have an interesting origin? Did you read my blog post? Either way, let me know!
FMH
